all aboard

So Im minding my own business, waiting for the last few passengers to board the plane. we're still missing some people, and the flight is supposed to be full. 2 minutes til departure i see 3 women with 3 lap children on their way to the plane. "FINALLY" I think, lets get the hell out of here. And then I notice one of the women walking up has a SmartCarte luggage cart with all of her luggage on it! Out on the ramp! you cant have that out there! which is exactly what I tell her.

She tells me "That what that guy in der said, but I got 3 babies wit me and a lot of bags! He gonna take it back when i done" I figure if she snuck it all the way down there, then she might as well finish her mission. I stick my head into the cockpit and the guys are just laughing because they know all of this is just a train wreck waiting to happen. The first girl comes on with a lot of bags and I offer to help her with her bags since she also is carrying what looks like a 1 year old girl. I grab the bags and step out of the way to let the next girl on. And about lose my mind! this girl could not have been older than 17, carrying a boy close to the age of 2, and she was wearing shorts and a extremely tiny/thin spagetti strap tank top. And a black bra. A black bra?, you say, how did you know? you ask.

because her damn tank top was hanging well below her chest for the whole world to see! I kid you not, it was just like a scrap of clothing randomly placed on her body. So im freaking out. and ALL the passengers within viewing range look like they are in shock. I mean, her goodies were on display for the whole world to see. the women look disgusted, half the men look annoyed to see boobies (????) and the other are like oh yeah! I throw the bags down and rush up to her and whisper in her ear "You're going to have to pull your shirt up immediately!" Id like to say she didnt notice, but she had so many issues with that shirt throughout the flight...
She pulls her shirt up and im back off to the boarding door to check on smartecart lady.

Who has lost her damn mind apparently because she is now trying to pull the whole cart UP THE AIRCRAFT STAIRS. yeah.
I yell at her and ask What the fuck she thinks shes doing (in a nicer language way) and she tells me "I bought it, I takin it wit me!!!" This was only the beginning of these 3 ladies.

To sum it up, they were a mess. The kids screamed the entire flight, the other passengers were sooooo upset, I was constantly playing babysitter trying to calm the kids down, switching one baby with another for the family (they were sitting spread out throughout the cabin). At one time, the 2ish year old boy was sitting alone in his seat and im thinking 'where the hell did the woman go?" I think i was going through doing a trash pick up. get toward the back where the carte woman is and the other woman/girl is literally in the floor in front of the carte womans seat. as in where her legs are supposed to be. The 1 year old girl was standing in the aisle and the carte woman is holding the other child, a little baby probably around 6 months. So being the mean flight attendant I am, i tell the sitting in the floor woman that shes going to have to return to her seat. as im telling her that, i see the 1 year old reaching over to grab a glass of mcdonalds iced coffee from the gentlemans across the aisle tray table! being in flight attendant mode, i quickly swoop it up from the child and place it back on the table before she can drink out of it and appologize to the guy. Then the carte woman says 'oh its okay its my drink she can have it'. So its her drink...why is it on HIS tray table. which is what I ask her. she just says "oh, sorry" to the guy next to her and he ignores her.

ive honestly have never had so many "why did you do this to me" looks before when people deplaned.and those were just a few examples of the madness of the flight. quite a few people said i did a great job, but some people were ready to get the hell away from them, me , and my aircraft.

Cant say I blame them!

wine-r

I love my job, I really do. But sometimes, some days, I want to go to the back of the aircraft, stretch my arms out and run down the aisle, smacking everyone in the back of the head as I go by.

About a month ago it was the last flight of the night and we left the gate about 20 minutes late. Im doing my thing, passing out drinks, smoothing things over with the passengers, its going pretty well.Until I get to the exit row with mister red wine guy.

I ask him if he would like something to drink and it went a little something like this...

FA: "Would you like something to drink?"
RWG: " Get me a red wine."
FA: "alright, thats $5."
RWG pulls out a hundred dollar bill and lays it on the tray table.
FA: "Oh, I dont have change for a hundred, actually I dont have any change at all. Would you like something else to drink?"
RWG: "NO! I WANT A RED WINE!!!"
so i explain to him again that I dont have change for $100 and I cant sell him the wine if I dont have change and he blows up!
RWG: "I WANT A RED WINE, GIVE ME THE RED WINE"
THEN he starts in with how I should comp him the wine or just give it to him free since we are going to be 30 minutes late [[we arrived right on time, btw]] and I had to explain to him that I would if I could, but I wasnt allowed to do that. Again I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to drink.
RWG:"I WANT A RED WINE!" yes. WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST 3 TIMES. Its easy to say "just give him the damn wine" but it doesnt work like that. First, the AirlineIWorkFor is very strict about comping drinks. believe me, id pass that shit out for free if it was up to me, ill happily buy your love and happiness for the couple of hours I am stuck with you. And I cant give a drink away for 'free', someone has to pay for it. when I turn my liquor money in at the end of the day, the money has to match the amount of liquor missing. If money is missing, guess who gets to pay for it! Me! and I do not like any of you enough to spend my own money to buy you an overpriced drink. ESPECIALLY if you are acting like an asshole towards me. i do NOT reward bad behavior on my flights!

So we go back and forth on the comp/free drink issue and my patience is running thin. I know I am venting on this blog but I am very professional when Im working. People are starting to turn around and gawk at the situation. Finally the gentleman sitting next to him is fed up and says "here, let me see if I can make change" and starts digging in his wallet. I wait and he makes change for a $20. I tell him that I need change for $100 bill, not a $20 and his face drops and he looks at the RWG then rolls his eyes and keeps digging. Meanwhile, RWG is tearing me a new one, going on and on about how it should be a requirement to carry enough of our own money to make change for customers in case we dont sell enough throughout the day.
FA: "So... I should carry around $100 of my own money just in case someone has a $100 bill to pay for a $5 drink? which i wont be reimbursed for? hmm."
RWG: "Well, yeah."